Schizophrenia

Sometimes life is like that, there is always an invisible truth… a hidden reality… open secrets and surreal situations. It works on a simple truth – “Your life is REAL. But so is mine”. They say, emotions have that in them - the ability to bring to life memories. Love; most of all.

I’ve read books. I see there is so much to describe when it comes to mundane routines or even a crime scene. And I can’t help but wonder how Love seems to be the only thing that’s understood without words. Without words.

**********

But we did speak. A little, every now and then. No one asked me as many questions as he did. I had company. No one listened without judging me inside. And I have to agree, its tough finding people like that these days. Many judge by cover, I judge too – ‘instincts’; they say.

May be not.

I stumble upon more questions as I even try to answer the very first. What made me take that extra step?

He listened with patience. I preferred to think, he was observing closely. Sometimes, I even felt his gaze wash my skin.

Reluctant Panic. Both were mine. A sinful combination.

Such things can’t be ignored.

And some people can’t be forgotten. They can’t be remembered either. They just exist in your life. May be as tucked away memories of hurt… Or whispers of something you imagined…

***********

Welcome to my world. Here, nothing is new. Nothing is old. Its got me, myself and I.

... of neon lights and lonely streets

---------------------------------------------------------------

I know I want to write more than this title.

I know it every morning, when I wake up before the sun does. I say it to myself as I win over my alarm clock. I know it while I walk to work. I know it while I wait for my cup of cappuccino. I know it while I reply to one mail after another. I recall it while the coin trickles down the vending machine.

I see it in so many eyes. I feel it within.
This is the story... of neon lights and lonely streets.

Checkmate

Last Night upon the stair,
I saw a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today,
Oh! I wish to God he’d go away!

As a kid, there was plenty of innocence left for me to nurture. The big outside world with its people fighting to get a life was strangely fascinating. But little did I know, that more they grab of life, more are the pieces they lose of themselves. And with time I began to look at life a lot differently. My impressions were constantly molded by what I saw happen around me and in a way I grew from outside of it. Emotions made decisions, wants lost to practicality, and power redefined integrity.

My learning from all of this was a simple truth.

After a game, the king and the pawn are back inside the same box